The Shit Parade

In the absence of anything particularly eventful happening in the last few weeks, here are some things that have been mildly pleasing and slightly irritating.

  • I had a conversation with my bf in which he pointed out what the current ladies’ hair fashion is.  Prior to this conversation, if you had asked me a) What is the current ladies’ hair fashion? and b) Does your bf know anything about ladies’ hair fashion? I would have answered a) Errr long, perhaps a fringe and b) Hahahaha – get out of here you lunatic!  But I am now enlightened!  Chris pointed out that emo hair has now filtered into the mainstream for women, and even the dodgiest Bramley-dweller has a hair-do that has its roots in emo.  After extensive Googling of images of hair, I now see that he is completely right about this. 

emo hair

This is apparently emo hair (with a touch of the Harajuku going on)

Emo-Hairstyles-for-girls

This is the kind of hair that a kid who kicks my garden gate has

  • Something that has really been annoying me of late is something that I shouldn’t be looking at – The Daily Mail.  I know it’s the devil, but sometimes I can’t help myself.  I keep noticing how, in Daily Mail Land (a terrible terrible land), women do not leave the house just wearing clothes – instead they parade, show off, reveal, etc.  Here’s an example from today: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2396546/Charlize-Theron-shows-beach-body-enjoys-day-kayaking-holiday.html.  I suspect that Charlize Theron did not begin her day by saying “Hey guys, my body is looking AWESOME! Let’s go kayaking so that everybody and his fucking dog can see how AMAZING I look”.  It’s very hard to go out in public and NOT show your body – unless you are prepared to wear a burka or perhaps push some screens on wheels or become a disembodied brain in a vat (Charlize Theron reveals naked brain on outing with neuroscientists?).  But, I shouldn’t be looking at this shit, so I really have no right to complain about it.
  • Today I have also been annoyed by Sunday Drivers.  Now these are people who DO go out with the intention of showing off their bodywork – but unfortunately it is bodywork that is incapable of moving at the National Speed Limit.  I get the sense that these people think they are doing us all a favour, giving us a little treat in our bleak, dull lives, by taking their quaint and unusual jalopies for a run out on a Sunday.  To these people I would say I WORK MONDAY TO FRIDAY – I DON’T WANT TO SPEND MY WEEKENDS STUCK BEHIND YOU DOING 40 IN A 60! I HOPE YOU CRASH INTO A DITCH!!  In reality I try to get my revenge by looking at their vehicles with an expression of boredom with a hint of contempt. Or studiously not looking at their car at all (as I ram them into the nearest ditch).
  • On a more positive note, I have just returned from my new favourite place – The Yorkshire Ice Cream Farm.  This is a magical place that I only discovered this year – it’s an American-style diner that sells rootbeer and has a proper soda fountain and does pulled-pork sandwiches for meat eaters and veggie hotdogs for us veggies.  They make their own ice cream and do the best sundaes.  Unlike most American-style places in the UK, they actually manage to provide American-style service too – i.e. friendly, helpful, and efficient.  The sad thing is, that they only open between April and October, and I’m already starting to wonder how I am going to get through the sad winter months without it.

 

 

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