Pavement Etiquette

This is a really quick post, while my veggie shepherd’s pie cooks, about something that really annoys me – poor pavement etiquette.  Here’s a diagram:



So, you’re walking down the street and there’s limited room; a couple or family are walking the opposite way and they cannot possibly bear to be parted from each other for three seconds, so they would rather you walk on the road rather than disrupt their evidently important togetherness.  I hate these people.  I would like to say to these people ‘Aahh, you want to be together, please, allow me to step in to the path of this crazy taxi because I really really don’t want to stop you from standing side by side’.  The worst ones are parents of multiple children, they can’t contemplate allowing the children to step in front of them for a few seconds, they would rather use them as crotch level hammer and kind of swing them in to you.

Perhaps I spend too much time thinking about this kind of thing – I look at what’s coming towards me and try to move in such a way that is equitable and unlikely to piss anyone off. If my shepherd’s pie wasn’t approaching that fine line between toasty brown and burnt I would add that this kind of etiquette also needs to be applied in the swimming pool too.  My solution to both pool- and street-based idiocy is the same – violence.  Think you can take up the WHOLE pavement?  Wrong punk – you’re about to feel the wrath of my shoulder.  Think you can start ignoring the CLEARLY INDICATED DIRECTION OF TRAVEL in the swimming lanes?  You are about to get a kick!





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